Akira's Vacation
by iEATfood
Summary: Akira takes a vacation from DUCK to spend fishing with his friends in Enoshima. Unfortunately for him no-one told him that Haru and Urara were back. They are back and keeping terrible secrets and he's going to find out what. Akira/Haru Urara/Haru Beta'd by the sweet PhantomMarbles
1. Chapter 1

All his life working for DUCK, Akira had never needed, used, or even _wanted_ his vacation days.

What would he use them for? He didn't have any family or friends to visit, and he was pretty sure the entire infrastructure of DUCK would collapse without him.

But this year was different.

This year he had friends. _Two_ friends! Well, Natsuki was a friend. Yuki counted as a friend of a friend, but he liked fishing, so he couldn't be all bad. There would have been Haru too, but he had to be an inconsiderate jerk and go back to his planet.

This year, he was going to spend his vacation in Enoshima. Natsuki said he'd be there. Tapioca and her husband were really looking forward to it.

"Are you sure you can handle it, Yamaaaaada?" his boss, George Ace, a reclining fabulous figure on a screen asked him mockingly after he had announced his temporary leave.

"Handle what? It's just a vacation," muttered Akira.

"You've never taken one before. I don't know if you even know _how_ to stop working. You realize on vacation, you'll just be another civilian outside of our jurisdiction? If you spot any alien activity, you'll have to report it to the local DUCK branch and not interfere."

Oh, yes. Some other DUCK agent was in charge of Enoshima these days. Wow, he felt just a bit jealous.

"I'm aware of the rules, sir." he replied, keeping a calm exterior.

"I'm never sure if you really are..." George Ace flashed him a rouged smile. "Ah well, don't forget to relax while you're there. Ahahaha!"

"Thank you, sir." growled Akira as he turned off communications._ Thank you for insulting me. _Wow. You save the world from a mind-controlling alien and what does it get you? A raise, a promotion and a medal, but not what he_ really _wanted, which was for the boss to stop treating like a child for one goddamned second!

He packed his fishing gear and clothes, but he was required to leave his gun and alien detector at the nearest DUCK base. He didn't like it. It made him feel exposed, but then again, this was only going to be fishing trips and sunny days. Nothing was going to happen.

Enoshima was beautiful this time of year. The sun was shining warmly, but was offset by a cool sea breeze. It filled Akira with all sorts of bubbling nostalgic feelings he had no truck with. He had just arrived; it had been a long trip and he was bitter over having to put Tapioca and Pudding in a carrier even though he had gotten them perfectly good airplane tickets.

Unsure if Natsuki was back yet, he made his way to Yuki's house. Yuki and his grandmother lived in an adorable yellow house near the ocean. Akira would have known - he had spent six months of his life camped out in a fake curry joint just next to it, spying on the residents.

He rang the doorbell and waited. Yuki answered the door with a panicked look on his face. "H-hel-?"

_No, Yuki, you can't answer doors. Please don't. It's embarrassing to watch you try, don't ever try._

Yuki's face relaxed when he recognised the man at the door. "A-Akira! You're here early..."

"Is Natsuki here yet?" Akira interrupted.

"No. But he should be here tomorrow…"

Suddenly a large and excitable presence entered the hallway with a squeal.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

It was a young, brightly colored blond with androgynous features.

"-KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIII-"

His voice was loud, high pitched and grating. Akira was too shocked to see him there to react.

"-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!" The alien's squeal of welcome descended into a fit of gleeful laughter.

"Haru?" Haru wasn't supposed to be here! He was supposed to be back on his planet! He never said he was going to come back!

No-one told_ him _he was back!

He was so mad he punched the little alien in the gut. And -

What?

The scenery shifted a bit. Yuki was standing in a different place. It took Akira a few seconds to get his bearings, though he knew this feeling: memory manipulation. But Haru hadn't used his squirt gun. What was going on? He looked around for Haru and saw him standing off to the side waggling his finger at a taller, blue-haired man.

_JFX!?_

What? No! He _definitely_ shouldn't have been here!

Haru turned to Akira and smiled. "Sorry, sorry, Akira! Urara thought you were attacking me. Everything's okay now!"

JFX, or Urara, blushed and attempted to hide behind his hair, pulling it in front of his face.

"You have to say sorry!" The other alien screamed into his friend's ear. "SOW-REE!" He repeated as if he was talking to a particularly slow child.

"Sorry," JFX whispered.

"See!" Haru slapped his alien friend on the back and grinned at Akira. Akira frowned. Something was up, he could feel it.

"Quack." Tapioca shared his suspicions.

"Hey, Yuki!" Haru said. "Akira should stay for dinner, huh?"

Yuki turned that awkward smile toward him and Akira couldn't refuse.

Dinner at Yuki's was prepared by Kate with Yuki's help. Haru tried to help, but naturally he was a pest and only got in the way. Akira tried to help by tripping him up. Urara stood to the side and watched in wonder like a child at a magic show. "Amazing, Yuki!" he exclaimed at some point, as if boiling water was some kind of awe-inspiring feat.

Akira did not like Urara at _all._ And not just because the alien had nearly destroyed the world and killed them all, but because, well - _look at him!_, he thought._ Look at his hair! _It was so long and multicolored! He just rubbed Akira the wrong way.

Why was he here? Haru coming back made _some_ sense, at least. But why JFX? Shouldn't he have been in some kind of intergalactic prison? Had they just given him a slap on the wrist and a paid vacation? Were they that stupid a species? Oh _god_, what if Haru was the smartest one?

He tried to avoid glaring at JFX as they sat down for dinner.

Yuki's grandmother was really friendly, which was weird for Akira. He wasn't used to friendly people. "Do you like the meal?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

"It's buttery." he informed her. Not in an attempt to be rude, but it had to be said. She was old and sickly, she shouldn't have been eating like this.

She chuckled that chuckle of hers that could melt the hearts of a thousand battle-worn soldiers. "I suppose you can take the woman out of France, but you can't take the France out of the woman," she said wisely.

Akira didn't know what that had to do with butter but he couldn't argue. He wasn't a thousand battle-worn soldiers, he was only one man, he couldn't deal with this shit.

He turned his attention to Haru. "You didn't tell me you were back. _No one _told me you were back." He sent a glare towards Yuki.

Yuki grinned nervously. "Well, Haru only got here a couple of days ago, and you were so busy I couldn't reach you…"

"I missed Yuki SO MUCH," Haru told the entire world, throwing his arms up in the air just to show everyone how much he missed Yuki.

"Is that why you're back?" Akira asked.

He seemed to catch the alien off guard. "Why..?" Haru repeated.

"And why _he's_ here?" Akira continued, pointing his fork at JFX.

JFX fidgeted in his seat. You knew he was fidgeting and not squirming or anything like that, because he muttered "fidget, fidget, fidget" under his breath.

"Urara came with me!" Haru explained. "He's really sorry for what happened. He came with me to make friends! Isn't that right, Urara?"

JFX turned his gaze toward Yuki, fluttering his eyelashes demurely as if their engagement had just been announced. "That's right…"

Liars. _Terrible_ liars, too. Their story didn't make any sense. Akira's alien hunter instincts were setting off alarms inside his mind. They were hiding something, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. He dropped the conversation there - there was no point interrogating them if they were going to lie - and decided to watch them instead.

Haru seemed nervous and jumpy. He was smiling, although Akira had learned long ago via obsessive spying that Haru smiled ninety percent of the time but was only truly happy sixty percent of the time.

Akira was planning on leaving right after dinner, but Yuki made tea while Kate stalled him with friendly conversation and he ended up lounging on their couch with his two pet ducks cuddled up on his lap, telling the sweet old lady more about his life than he wished to share.

Urara and Haru had already escaped to Yuki's room. They were holding hands, assumingly because when your original form was a tiny space fish you didn't really develop any gender-based weirdness around physical contact.

Haru turned on Urara. "You promised not to use your powers. You _promised!_"

"He's scary," Urara tried to explain. "He attacked you!"

"Even then, _don't_ use your powers. Humans don't like it."

Urara lowered his head. "Shame."

"Good," Haru told him. "Akira isn't bad, okay? He's really nice. He's just … like that…"

Akira had initially frightened the hell out of Haru. Not only did he carry around a waterfowl, but he thought like a hunter. Haru's species couldn't really read minds, but they could pick up vibes - and Akira let off a bad one. He didn't mean it though, he was a good person underneath all that distrust.

"I don't think I fit in here," whispered Urara.

"You will!" chirped Haru, hopping up and down. "You just have to_ trryyy!_"

"I feel so distant…"

Haru stopped hopping and closed the gap between them, putting his arms around Urara. On Earth when humans felt distant, they put their arms around each other to feel closer. This wasn't going to help Urara, though; he hadn't spent long enough in his human form to understand. Haru knew this, but he just wanted to delay the inevitable.

Urara leaned down and pressed their foreheads together.

"Haru," he said with half-lidded eyes.

"U-Urara..." Haru giggled nervously. There was no escaping now.

Somewhere on a water-laden planet far away, when two alien fish felt distant or just wanted to feel closer, they'd bop their little heads together and open their minds to each other; they would share their memories, happy feelings and insecurities - and it felt GREAT.

Haru didn't feel great.

Downstairs, Akira had learned way more about Yuki's childhood than he ever cared to know and his bladder was so full of tea he could have sworn he was going to explode and die.

"Excuse me." he began to ask, gently pushing Tapioca and Pudding off his lap. "Where's the bathroom?"

Haru squirmed in Urara's grip. Most aliens were pretty much on the same mental level, but not Urara. His years alone in the deep had done something to him. He was terrifyingly powerful, and what should've been a soft comforting mental hug was smothering Haru.

"Urara..." he moaned, trying not to pass out. "I can't… you're too big."

"It wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't resist." Urara told him.

This was true, but there were parts of Haru's mind he didn't really want to share.

He was saved by the most unlikely of heroes: Akira nearly breaking the door down, red in the face, screaming, "What's going on here!?"

Akira was really surprised to see the two aliens just standing there fully dressed. That was important - FULLY DRESSED. Because from outside of the room it had sounded like adult, maybe even police, intervention had been needed.

And now he was inside of the room and feeling pretty dumb.

"Haru?"

Haru, who was drenched in sweat, flashed him a weak and forced grin. Urara looked mortified. The blushing blue-haired alien threw himself to the floor and rolled under the bed and out of sight.

Haru did a pose. It involved a twirl and a thumbs up. "Everything's oooookaaayyy!" he sang.

"LIAR!" Akira barked. Haru's false joy was really getting on his nerves. He grabbed Haru's arm so he would stop avoiding the subject. "You're hiding something! What's going on? Why are you aliens back here?"

Haru looked up at him with his big purple eyes, he looked a little lost. "Eh..? You're not happy to see me?"

That took the wind right out of Akira's sails. He didn't want to interrogate Haru anymore, he just wanted to die.

He had no way to reply to that, so he decided to simply storm out of there. It would have been really dramatic too if he hadn't accidentally bumped into the door frame on the way out.


	2. Sea Trolled

Akira's first vacation ever wasn't off to a good start. Rather than being relaxed, he was furious. He was mad at Haru, because how DARE he? How dare he have made this all about him? This wasn't about him, it was about the stupid secret he was keeping. Whether or not he had missed Haru didn't have anything to do with it.

He was mad at Urara for - well, his hair was still too long. And what had he been doing to Haru in that room? Something weird and alien, probably. Akira wasn't going to put up with any alien shenanigans on _his_ planet.

But most of all, he was mad at his boss. He still remembered the bastard's smug smile as he waved him off. He'd known, of course, he'd definitely known. No alien set foot on earth without DUCK knowing. "Don't forget to relax" - HA! He was probably laughing at Akira right now.

Everyone was laughing at him. This was why he hated jokes. They were always on him.

He'd show them. He'd show them all. He would enjoy his vacation _and_ figure out what Haru and JFX were up to. "Quack," Tapioca chimed in, to remind him that those were two conflicting statements.

"Do not underestimate me, Tapioca."

"Quack." That wasn't Tapioca, that was Pudding. Pudding never had anything useful to say. He was an idiot. Akira did not know what Tapioca saw in him.

He didn't have much to do today, or at least not until school let out. They'd all managed to get off work but Yuki, Haru and Urara, apparently, still had school to go to. Akira didn't know why aliens bothered with school when they were terrible at it. He'd once seen a simple algebra equation reduce Haru to a sobbing mess. How their species had ever discovered space travel was a mystery.

He kinda wished he was there…

Nope. He wasn't going to sulk. This was his vacation, he was going to go out and do something.

He was sulking at the Usami Family restaurant instead, watching his ducks getting forcibly cuddled by Sakura, when Mr. Usami got the call.

They'd been waiting for the call all day. Natsuki's family had pestered him to phone when he was nearly there, knowing that if they didn't he'd slip back into Enoshima without anyone noticing. The Usami family had not seen their first born, the fishing prince, in months and they wanted his return to be a big deal. Natsuki hated big deals.

Akira tagged along as the family filed into the family van. They were just four people, why did they need a van?

Then they stopped to pick up Misaki and Ayumi, and Akira started to realize just what he had gotten himself into. Then they stopped at the school and picked up Yuki and the aliens. They ended up squashed together like sardines for the entire drive.

Enoshima train station was a big, beautiful red building shaped like a shrine. Both aliens stared at it intently. The color red had that effect on them.

Akira got out of the van first. All of that social interaction had exhausted him so much, he practically leapt out of the van as soon as it stopped. Everyone streamed out after him, stretching their limbs and complaining. It hadn't even been that long of a drive._ Whiners_, thought Akira.

"Look!" Haru squealed, pointing at the train station. "Look! Earth is beautiful!" he told Urara. Urara smiled weakly but said nothing.

Akira would have observed them further if it hadn't been for Ayumi, who slapped Akira on the back and started telling him about the married life like it was the greatest thing in the world.

He was saved by Sakura screaming "NATSUKI!": she had spotted her older brother stepping out of the train station. He looked as cool as ever, with a bag and fishing kit slung over his shoulder. And -

Oh, no. His hair. It was _back_. It had been so short and neat when he'd left, why would he do this? Natsuki had awful hair when it was long. It didn't grow down like normal hair, it defied gravity and just grew in a halo around his head. A messy, unkempt halo.

Sakura ran up to her brother, laughing and crying, and hugged him around the waist. He instantly dropped his belongings to hug her back.

"Prince! We missed you!" giggled Haru. Natsuki let go of his sister to ruffle the alien's hair. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again, Haru." He didn't seem very surprised to see the alien, though. Someone had already told _him_, but NO ONE ever told Akira anything.

"You grew your hair back," Akira grumbled.

"It's great to see you too," Natsuki laughed.

Yuki rushed over and they bro-hugged and then looked into eachother's eyes for a few seconds too long. Akira found it awkward and weird, so let's just skip to later in the day.

Many hugs later;

The entire group was chilling and laughing at the Hemingway and Akira was back to square one. He wasn't having any fun, nor was he any closer to finding out anything about Haru and Urara.

The problem was too many people. How was he supposed to start a conversation with anyone with this many people in the room? They were all having plenty of fun without his involvement, and Haru and Urara weren't likely to do anything weird with so many humans watching. Haru was busy dragging the reluctant JFX around the room and hijacking conversations, trying to make JFX the center of attention. "Look at Urara!" "He wants to make friends!" "He likes whitebait like me!"

Yeah, too many people. Or...

Just enough.

Akira was struck by a brilliant idea. He made his way to Ayumi's side. He was in the middle of a conversation with Yuki and Natsuki, but it didn't matter what they were talking about.

"There's enough of us to go trolling." he stated bluntly.

Ayumi laughed and slapped him on the back. "You're pretty sharp, Indian!"

"Trolling?" asked Yuki. "Like... on the internet?"

Akira narrowed his eyes at him. "And you call yourself a fisherman!"

Yuki blushed such a deep shade of crimson that both aliens in the room dropped what they were doing to look at him like sharks.

"It's an boat fishing technique." Natsuki explained. "You can catch marlin with it. You need an entire crew, though."

"Oh wow, marlin!" Yuki exclaimed. "I want to try catching one of those!"

Akira beamed. Finally he was going to start having fun!

To go sea trolling you needed a boat and skipper (Ayumi), fisherman and fishermen hands (Akira, Yuki, Natsuki, Haru and Urara), and all of the necessary rigging and equipment (Misaki tagged along to help with that). Natsuki's dad came along too, he was in charge of the annoying sea chanties.

And they fished - it was exhilarating. Akira had never been trolling before, he'd never known enough fishing enthusiasts. It was a little restraining, he and his rod had to be strapped in place, and it wasn't his rod either. Misaki had let them borrow some really heavy duty rods. Just holding onto it was a bit of a thrill.

A half hour later, no-one had caught anything and they took a break unhooking their fishing rods to fish normally.

This was a good chance to turn his attention back to Haru and JFX. Haru hadn't been too thrilled at the thought of going out on the ocean, and that was suspicious in itself. He hovered behind JFX nervously, like a worried parent. He seemed to expect Urara to throw himself into the water at any moment.

"Why do they catch fish like this?" Urara asked in a superior tone. Maybe; his tone and expression were really hard to read at the moment. Akira had seen this before. Some aliens's human disguises weren't up to scratch and couldn't convey their emotions too well.

"There's an easier way," Urara continued, reaching off the side of the boat and into the water. Haru grabbed his wrist and shook his head at him.

"Haru!" Urara exclaimed, sounding shocked.

"Urara..." Haru half growled.

JFX yanked his hand out of Haru's grip and stormed off to the other side of the boat. Haru didn't follow him but kept an eye on him from afar. Akira felt a little bad for the alien, though he couldn't put his finger on why exactly. He just seemed stressed out and wasn't having nearly as much fun as usual. Akira decided against asking him about what just happened. Instead, he found himself gravitating towards a subject he'd wanted to avoid.

"Haru, about yesterday," he started, casually dropping his line into the water near where Haru was standing. The alien didn't turn to look at him, but Akira knew he was listening.

Akira distracted himself with retrieving his lure. He wasn't good at this sort of thing.

"I'm glad... that you're back." he said after a while.

Haru turned to look at him, his hair being blown by the wind across his face.

…Maybe Haru needed a haircut too, Akira thought distantly.

Before Haru could say anything, Akira's rod was nearly jerked out of his grip by a catch. _Strike! _Thought Akira, pulling his rod up to hook the fish and losing all of his brain cells in the process. Akira LOVED fishing.

He'd lost the chance to have a frank chat with Haru, but he managed to catch a sea bass, so it all evened out in the end.

It was a pretty good day of fishing. That is, until Yuki ruined it all by being the one to catch the marlin.


	3. Alien snot

When Yuki, Haru and Urara got home, Yuki rushed upstairs to show Kate the picture of the marlin he caught. Haru hung around downstairs - he had a feeling Urara was mad at him. Well, not a feeling, he knew it for a fact. He could taste it like a magnetism in the air.

"I'm your elder," Urara said calmly. "You do not tell me what I can and cannot do."

This was true: the older you were, the more respect you deserved, and Urara was twice as old as Haru. He was very old, very powerful and as huffy as an eight year old.

"_Yessssss_, but I've had more 'talking to humans' practice!" Haru explained. "And you said you wouldn't use your powers!"

"Yes." Urara frowned. "On humans, because it upsets them. But fish don't feel, fish are stupid." Said the fish ailen from the planet of the fish.

"Just don't!" Haru snapped. "Don't you want to fit in?"

"If I don't use my powers, they'll wane," warned Urara.

"_Great!_ Then we'll be able to talk again!"

"We talk..." muttered Urara.

Haru was peeved, and he didn't want to continue this conversation anymore. He yawned in an over-exaggerated manner. "Yes. Okay," he said. "I'm sleepy! I'm going to sleep now ... goodnight!"

He clicked his heels together and marched off. Urara watched him go.

Haru _was_ exhausted. He was starting to regret this whole thing. Urara was a lot of trouble. He changed into his pyjamas, technically Yuki's old ones, and sunk into his alien bed with a sigh. It was shaped more like a recliner than a bed, with a basin of water to dip his toes in. He was so drained he fell asleep almost instantly.

Urara sat on the couch downstairs flipping through TV channels. Nothing interesting was on, but then nothing was ever interesting these days. He wasn't even watching anyway, he was waiting for Haru to fall asleep. No guessing involved; he waited until the little blip on the edge of his radar dimmed.

Haru had been keeping things from Urara. Even when Urara was in Haru's mind he could feel Haru keeping him at bay, hiding thoughts from him. It irked him. There was a time when they had been so close they kept nothing from eath other. When he was sure that Haru was sleeping deeply enough, he got demurely up and made his way upstairs. Haru couldn't keep things from him if he was asleep.

He found Haru sleeping in his recliner. He looked so peaceful. Good, he definitely wouldn't wake up.

Urara reached down into the basin at Haru's feet. A little water would help focus his powers. He gently brushed the hair out of Haru's face, his fingers leaving a trail of wetness on the younger alien's forehead. Haru stirred a bit but didn't awaken. Water wasn't going to bother him anyway.

Urara smiled, and as carefully as he could, touched foreheads with Haru.

It felt good not having to fight Haru every step of the way. His mind was a lighthearted place Urara loved to be in. Haru was dreaming of boats sailing in space. It was so ridiculous and blissful, but this was why he needed Haru back in his life so completely and utterly. He left Haru's dreams to search for something unfamiliar. Something Haru had been hiding. He found it in the back of Haru's mind.

Doubts.

Doubts about_ Urara_.

Urara pulled back and stood up. He was feeling something. The feeling must've been too much for his human disguise, because he found himself unable to portray the emotion on his face. Expressionless, he snuck out of the room as quietly as he had come in, making slithering noises under his breath the whole time.

Haru woke up the next day with a splitting headache. He moaned theatrically and clutched at his head. He shuffled downstairs, wondering if he should tell Kate about this, but Koko had warned him never to take human medication. She'd said it would make his eye sockets melt out of his nose.

It was still early and no one was downstairs. Except Urara.

Haru froze. Urara was sitting in front of the TV, looking uninterested. He saw Haru and his face lightened up. "Haru! I was thinking about you!"

"Urara? Did you sleep?" Haru asked, as Urara came up to him and held both his hands. His only reply was a shrug.

"I know how to fix everything." Urara told him.

"Fix...? Eh? Fix what?" Haru smiled blankly.

"You... _us_. I know how you really feel about me. I looked."

It took Haru a while to process this. His head still ached, and Urara wouldn't stop talking.

"You don't have to fear my power. We can be powerful together! I'll - I'll show you how!"

"You _looked?_" Haru finally replied. _That_ was why his head hurt so much! "_In my mind? _While I was sleeping?!"

Urara's smile faded a bit.

"_Urara, that's wrong!_" There were some things you just did NOT do. _Ever._

"I had to, you were keeping things from me." Urara's eyebrows furrowed. It really looked like he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.

"It's _my_ head! I keep things... in it!" Haru's limited vocabulary failed him. "It's mine."

Urara pulled him close, suddenly intense. "_No_. We used to share it!"

"Who wants breakfast? - Um." This was Yuki, who'd woken up in a really good mood and had no idea what he had just walked in on.

Taking his chance, Haru pulled himself out of Urara's grip and kicked the brain intruder between the legs, a place he'd found out was sensitive in humans when he'd been playing on the jungle gym and tripped. Haru ran out of the house as Urara doubled over in pain as gracefully as a dying swan.

Akira had just woken up and taken a shower. He didn't expect, when he stepped out of the bathroom, to find an alien in his hotel room petting his ducks.

You did _not_ pet another man's duck without his consent.

"Haru?" he asked, holding on as tightly as he could to the towel around his waist. You never knew which aliens would end up being the probing kind. "Wait - how did you find out where I was staying? I didn't tell anybody!"

Haru giggled. " I found you 'cause you were here!" he said, like tracking a man down was the easiest thing in the world. "Silly." he added, clearly to add insult to injury.

Whatever. Akira wasn't going to have a conversation with an alien in nothing but a towel. He ignored Haru, grabbed some clothes and retreated back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him just in case.

Haru was still there when he came out, but Akira knew why. He was finally ready to admit whatever secret he was keeping. Silently, he sat down next to Haru and waited.

Haru sighed, his happy demeanor fading, and let go of Tapioca. "I don't think Urara wants to make friends at all."

_You don't think. Ever_, thought Akira.

Haru looked up at him with a plea in his eyes.

"Just tell me everything," Akira said.

And so Haru _tried_. There was a lot to say, and he only had the vocabulary of a six-year-old to say it with. What Akira understood was this: Haru, Koko and Urara had gone back to their planet and encountered a problem. Urara did not fit in anymore. He was too powerful, and couldn't communicate with anyone without giving them a headache or taking them over completely. Everyone agreed Urara should stay out of the water for a while until his power waned, but very little of Haru's planet was out of the water - just a few rocks stivking out here and there. It was on one of those rocks that Urara was forced to stay, at least until Haru had offered to take him back to Earth where he could stay out of the water _and_ chat with the Earthlings.

Akira nodded. He could smell a rat. "You mean take him back to Earth where you could mess around with Yuki."

Haru squirmed. "I missed Yuki... I missed all my friends."

"They just let anyone on your planet have a spaceship, don't they?"

"Um... eh?"

"Just tell me the real problem." Akira leaned in close. "What's Urara done?"

There was a sharp intake of breath from Haru that really alarmed Akira. "He's not a bad person!" Haru wailed. "He's just…"

Akira waited for Haru to continue.

"Not the same..."

Haru made a small hurt noise and picked up Pudding, holding him close to his chest. " He used to be diffrent … we used to be…" Haru's voice was a low whisper, and Akira could hardly make out what he was saying. "The ocean made him change … he did a bad thing to me…"

Akira nearly stood up. Nearly, because he stumbled and fell back down again. He grabbed Haru's shoulders and turned the little alien towards him. "A bad thing? What bad thing? What did he do?"

Haru didn't reply - instead he did something Akira felt was just plain mean. He started to cry.

Akira panicked. He wasn't trained for this! What was this?! What were you supposed to do to stop people crying? Yell at them?

He tried to dam the two rivers that were Haru's tears with his hands. "Look, no. Haru, stop it. Stop." Haru didn't stop.

Akira hugged Haru. He wasn't sure why, he just felt like he'd rather suffocate the alien against his chest than bear to look at his crying face any longer. Haru decided, now that he'd had enough experience in the matter, that crying was NOT fun. His throat hurt, he felt like he couldn't breathe properly, the tears and snot streaming out of his face left a bad taste in his mouth, and worst of all he couldn't _stop_.

He couldn't stop, and he could hear Akira's heart hammering in his chest. He was worrying Akira over something that wasn't that important and that only made him feel worse and start to cry more.

When his tears eventually subsided, Akira asked him again. "What did he do, Haru?"

Haru closed his eyes, face still pressed against Akira's chest. He could _try_ to tell Akira, but Akira wouldn't understand; Akira wasn't an alien. He sniffed. "My head hurts..."

Akira said nothing. _Dammit_. He wanted a real answer.

"I think Urara's been going to the ocean..." Haru muttered. "He's been getting more powerful."

Akira finally snapped a little. "Okay. Fine, ocean, more powerful, got it. Just _tell me what he did to you!_"

Haru smiled that dumb mindless smile that Akira hated. "It's not that bad, Akira, don't worry!"

"I ... _what?!_"

"It's just a silly thing." Haru told him.

"MY SHIRT'S ALL WET!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"I'M COVERED IN ALIEN SNOT! Which - by the way, wouldn't happen to be poisonous, would it? Am I going to die!?"

Haru laughed. "I don't know!"

"_YOU _WERE CRYING."

"Haru's not very smart. Haru shouldn't cry about stupid things."

"Is that so?" sighed Akira, defeated. He felt exhausted and he was pretty sure Haru was lying. That settled it - he was just going have to assume the worst and shoot Urara in the head next time he saw him.

- Shit. He didn't have his gun.

Yuki had been infuriatingly inquisitive after Haru left. He really wanted to know why they were fighting. Urara didn't want to tell him, so he covered his face with his hands and pretended to be invisible until Yuki gave up.

_It worked_, Urara thought as Yuki finally left exasperated. Urara smiled smugly to himself. Humans weren't very smart, were they?

Now that Yuki had left him alone he could finally think. _Haru. _Why was Haru so stubborn? He thought Urara had changed, but he was wrong; misguided because of his youth, Haru was the one whom had changed. He'd spent too much time around humans, picking up their odd behavior and their messy thought patterns. He'd been _tainted_. Everything was clear now.

If he was going to live on this planet with Haru, he was going to have to fix him first.


	4. Undercover Haru

Natsuki was fishing under the bridge. It was a good spot, and he'd missed fishing here. He'd missed the calm silence of the tiny island he called home. The calm was interrupted by the frantic sound of crocs slapping against cement: it was Yuki running towards him, looking panicked. He was followed by Urara.

"Natsuki! Have you seen Haru?" Yuki asked, panting.

"No. Why? What happened?"

Yuki glanced at Urara who was nervously chewing on a strand of his own hair, and lowered his voice. "Urara and Haru had some kind of fight, and then Haru ran off."

"About what?"

"I don't know. Urara won't tell me. I think it's an alien thing." He sighed sadly. There were some things his alien friends never talked about, and it was always jarring to remember that they were two different species.

Natsuki put a reassuring hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Don't worry. He probably didn't go very far. We'll find him."

"Hey! Looking for something?" Like a hero in an action movie, Akira appeared on the horizon - and yes, Haru was with him.

Yuki sighed with relief and ran over to Haru's side, checking him over like a mother hen. "Haru, don't run off like that! I was so worried!"

"Sorry, Yuki," Said Haru, looking down at his feet. Akira rolled his eyes. _Don't baby the alien, he's an adult!_

But Yuki kept on doing it. "You're still in your pyjamas! We should go home so you can change."

"Oookay!" Haru nodded enthusiastically.

Yuki glanced at Urara. "What were you guys fighting about? Are you still friends?" He didn't have the strength to deal with a rift in his group of friends so early in his life.

Haru smiled softly. "Me and Urara are always gonna be friends."

Yuki smiled, relieved. "Okay! Let's go."

They set off towards Yuki's house, and Haru lagged behind to talk to Akira. "I need you to help me!" he whispered, or at least _tried_ to whisper. Haru's voice was naturally pretty loud. "I have to watch Urara and keep him away from the ocean!"

"Very well, we'll perform a stake-out."

"But I don't want steak right now. I'm not hungry..."

Akira shuddered. His only life-line was that the pun was unintentional. "Goddamn it, Haru-"

"Eh?"

Akira tried to explain what a stake-out was, gave up, and finally changed the subject to something he was naturally good at: advice. "Don't be friends with Urara," he told Haru. Haru's earlier 'we're _always_ gonna be friends' had rubbed him the wrong way. "If he crossed you... in any way, just hate him. Forever."

Haru didn't reply. In fact, Akira got the feeling Haru was ignoring him, but he kept on talking anyway. "Let the rage build up inside you so when he crosses you _again_ you can use it like a weapon."

He contemplated his own words for a while. At some point during that sentence Haru had started skipping. "That's how I live my life," Akira added lamely, pretty sure no one was listening.

"Sounds fun!" chirped Haru.

Planning their stake-out was easy, mostly because no one ever really paid attention to Haru. At the end of the day he handed Haru a walkie talkie.

"Use this to communicate with me, I'll be nearby. If anyone asks, say it's a toy."

"It _is_ a toy!" laughed Haru, looking down at the walkie talkie. I was made out of colorful plastic and had an image a humanoid duck in a sailor suit on it.

"No, it's just cleverly disguised." Akira lied. "Look, just hold down the button to talk and let go to hear a reply." He explained, putting a hand on top of Haru's to press the button.

- Whoa. Haru's hands were really…

_Clammy!_ Akira quickly withdrew his hand and wiped it on his shirt. "Understood?" he asked. Haru nodded.

"Good, now run along."

Haru skipped back inside while Akira hid in some nearby bushes with Tapioca. It quickly became clear that Haru sucked at the art of subterfuge. First thing he did upon entering the house was show everyone his new toy. He insisted that Yuki use his smart phone to call him, which was impossible. Then he threw himself on the living room couch and babbled mindlessly into the walkie talkie for_ hours_. He never let go of the button even once, so Akira couldn't even beg for mercy.

When it was time to sleep Haru went to his room, laid on his bed and held the walkie talkie to his ear, finally letting go of the button. He could hear grumbling and a faint quacking on the other side. "Akira?" he spoke into the device.

"What? Who..? _Haru?_" Akira seemed out of it.

"Akira, this won't work... Urara knows if I'm asleep."

"Whatis he, Santa Claus?"

"Who's that?"

Akira rolled his eyes at the alien's ignorance. "He's this bearded old man who breaks into people's houses and gives them presents if they've been good or roasts them over hot coals if they've been bad."

"_Scary!_" exclaimed Haru.

"Yes. Anyway, it's not a problem. Just go to sleep. I'll wake you if I see any suspicious movements."

"I can't go to sleep!" Haru moaned. "Santa Claus will eat me!"

"Don't be ridiculous! He only comes out in midwinter!"

Haru whimpered. "I can't sleep... tell me a story."

"Never." And then he said nothing, because sleep needed cold, neglectful silence.

A few hours later, an urgent quack from Tapioca woke him up.

It was JFX. Tapioca spotted him leaving the house. He walked calmly, not a care in the world, not at all worried that someone might spot him. Fool. He had _no_ idea about Akira's surveillance skills.

Akira tried to get up, but sleeping in a bush had not been a good decision. His whole body ached. This was the moment where he suddenly remembered that he was _supposed_ to be on some sort of relaxing vacation. Dang.

Slowly, painfully, he snuck out of the bush and followed the alien. Yes, Haru was right; JFX _was_ headed towards the ocean. "Haru," Akira hissed into the walkie talkie to wake him up. "Haru! He's awake!"

"Blub?" Haru mumbled lazily.

"No! This is Akira! Wake up you lazy good for nothing! Urara's nearly at the ocean!"

"Huh? Uwah?" There was a clattering noise. "Oh no! I have to stop him!"

Akira shoved the toy into his pocket. It was time to confront this jerk. He didn't have his gun but Urara was thin and waif-like, and Akira was pretty sure he could easily take him in a fight.

He ran out to intercept the Alien's path, striking a pose. "DUCK!" he shouted.

Urara stared at him, confused. "No, you are a human being," he told Akira helpfully.

"I cannot allow you to go near the ocean!" Akira replied firmly, doing a good job of hiding his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry..." said Urara, attempting to make his way around the secret agent. Akira blocked him, shoving him back. He was right: Urara was pretty light for his height, and a shove nearly threw him backwards. JFX gave him a hurt puppy look, but unfortunately for him Akira was impervious to kawaii.

"You fish aren't so high and mighty without your water guns, are you?" he said smugly.

Urara's hurt look washed away and was replaced by a small, soft smile. "I don't need one."

Haru hurried towards the shore, spotting Urara standing there by the water. Akira was there too, his face looking familiarly blank.

Heart pounding, Haru ran to stand between the two of them. Humans made a bad habit of dying and Urara made an even worse habit of being powerful and ignorant. "Urara!" he snapped. "What are you doing? You have to stay away from the ocean or you still won't fit in when we go back to our planet!"

"I don't want to go back," Urara huffed. "I _like_ this planet. It's big and colorful." He reached a hand out towards Haru and gripped him by the arm. "We can be the most powerful beings on this planet. No one will ignore us. Everyone will be our friends! Just come with me."

Haru thought about it. He didn't need to make anyone like him at the moment, he had a clutch of friends he really loved. He knew this whole set-up was temporary, though. It would be nice to be as powerful as Urara, to simply not be smothered by his presence anymore. Urara was eventually going to be the only friend he had left on this planet, considering how short-lived humans were. It would be nice to fix their communication problem before the next millennium.

_No._ He didn't want his brain to buzz all the time, or to not be able to go back to his planet and chat with Coco. He didn't want to end up chewing his own fins ragged like Urara. He shook his head, pulling his arm away.

"Very well then," said Urara. "Don't stand in my way."

Haru was about to do just that when someone grabbed him from behind. It was Akira, still under Urara's control.

"I'm sorry," Urara continued. He dipped a toe into the water, like he was testing it, and the water seemed to rise up to meet him. It wasn't the water, but hundreds of tiny little fish clamoring just to touch him.

"Sorry's not a word!" Haru huffed, garbling a life lesson he'd heard some time ago.

Urara blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of this. "No. I think it is," he concluded. "I just want to help you, Haru! You've been tainted by humans."

He walked up to Haru and put his arms around his neck, embracing him and ignoring the mind-controlled Akira still holding Haru back. "When I am powerful enough, you will never have to feel scared or conflicted again. I will make you happy all the time."

Haru couldn't protest. He had realized what Urara was planning, and it horrified him too much to speak. Urara pressed his cheek against the smaller alien. "I love you," he whispered, and it stung more than the little fish could bear.

And then he left.

Akira came to. Urara was gone, and… he was holding on to Haru's wrists a little too tightly. He quickly let go.

"What happened? Haru?" But Haru looked preoccupied. Lost, actually.

"Are you okay?" Akira asked. "Did JFX do something to you? Did _I_ do something to you?!" He added, and it was a terrifying thought.

Haru shook his head. "I'm in trouble," he whimpered. "Urara's going to get powerful and erase me!"

"_Erase_ you? What does that mean? He's going to kill you?" he hadn't known Urara was so gangster.

"No, he wants to go inside my head and change stuff. I won't be the same."

"He can do that?"

"If he gets powerful enough… "

This was an urgent matter that required immediate action. Akira knew this, but that seemed to be _all_ that he knew. He still felt groggy from the mind control, and he was full of questions and Haru hadn't answered any of them. "You can't stay here if you're in danger," he told the alien.

"I have to be there when Yuki wakes up, or he'll worry. I hate making him worry." Then he smiled up at Akira. "But tomorrow, I'm going to stay at your place!"

He didn't even ask. He just stated it like it was a fact of life.

"And when am _I_ going to enjoy this vacation?"

"You're on vacation?"


	5. Akira's first slumber party

Akira didn't get much sleep that night. How could he? His whole vacation had been hijacked by the prospect of Haru getting permanently brainwashed. Haru told him not to worry about it. He also told him to be nice to Urara and not to tell Yuki, but Haru was crazy. Aliens were crazy.

Haru might have been able to sleep, but not Akira. He spent the night in the bushes outside Yuki's house on high alert, and the rest of the day brooding at Hemingway's. He avoided the usual fishing gang because he knew JFX would be with them, and he could _not_ be civil to the creature. Not after it had taken control of his mind and threatened Haru.

At the end of the day, Haru entered the store with a clatter, the fishing gang with him. "Hello, everyone!" he said loudly. Akira gulped down the ginger tea he was nursing and pretended that he hadn't seen them come in.

"Hey, you," said Natsuki, and he had that face on that made you wonder if he was flirting with you or just naturally looked like he was aroused all the time. "Haven't seen you all day."

Akira shrugged.

"Akira and me are going to have a slumber party!" Haru announced. _Akira and _I_, you dimwit,_ Akira thought, and could Haru have possibly come up with a more embarrassing cover story?

"R-really?" laughed Natsuki.

"Whatever," muttered Akira. "I'm not going to tell an alien were he can and can't stay..."

"I thought that was your job?"

"I don't spend enough time with Akira," Haru continued. "He's my scariest friend!"

No one protested Haru's plans. Yuki looked uncomfortable about it, but Yuki _always_ looked uncomfortable. He was constantly looking crumpled and out of place, like a jigsaw puzzle piece that had been shoved in the wrong spot.

So Akira let Haru follow him back to his hotel room. When they got there, he had to resist the urge to just crawl into bed and fall asleep; he had questions, and Haru had answers.

"Why can't we tell Yuki?"

"I don't want Yuki to be mad at Urara. Urara and Yuki are almost friends! If Urara had friends he wouldn't be like this…"

_Well, that is the stupidest answer ever, _thought Akira, lying down on the bed, his hope for decent answers dashed. He resisted the urge to close his eyes. "JFX is a dangerous alien," he said. "He's expressed hostile intentions towards you. You should not sympathize with him."

Haru fidgeted nervously. "He's not hostile! He's just … wrong! We've known each other for a very long time ... I don't want to fight."

"You need to stop him. You need a plan of action."

"Maybe I'll stay here with you!" Haru laughed, throwing himself on top of the agent. "Forever and ever!"

Akira tried to push the creature off. "No, you can't! Get off!"

Haru, lying across Akira's stomach, didn't get off. Instead he curled his body around Akira's and sighed happily.

Akira sighed too, but not happily at all. "I'm going to have to go back to work eventually. You can't stay here forever. You need a plan." He stopped remembering the plans he'd seen Haru's kind come up with. "An _actual_, well thought-out plan! -Hey! Are you listening?"

Haru opened his eyes slowly. He looked so serene. _Don't tell me he's sleepy? How dare he be sleepy?_

Akira wriggled out from under the alien. "Tapioca, a notebook, please." Tapioca obliged handing him a notebook with her beak.

"We'll write down everything we know about JFX and use the information to formulate a plan."

"_Uuugh!_ Writing?" Haru moaned. He had always gotten chastized for his spelling in class.

"Tell me everything you know about JFX," Akira commanded.

"Well, his name's Urara..."

"I _know_ that! Tell me his weaknesses or his past. Something important!"

Haru nodded wisely, like he understood. Akira was pretty sure he didn't. "He was born in an egg! _I_ was born in an egg!"

Maybe this was _too_ much past.

"We're white when we're born," Haru continued, oblivious. "And then we get our colors!" Haru bit his thumb. "Coco and Urara have the best colors…"

"Something important, Haru!" Akira groaned. "Something that stands out."

"Umm..." Haru grabbed his head and wracked his teeny tiny mind for _something_. "Oh! He bites his tail!"

"I don't know what that-"

"He bites his tail when he's nervous, and he's always nervous ... and he worries a lot and then worries so much that he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he ... um ... forgets about humans."

"Forgets what about humans?"

Haru looked guilty. "That they, um... _die _really easily…"

A chill went up Akira's spine. He narrowed his eyes. "So he _is _dangerous!"

"It's not his fault!" Haru protested. "Humans don't live very long at all!"

Okay, now he had to ask. "How old is Urara?"

"Um, he's still pretty young, around … 3000?"

FUCK!

"3568!" Haru corrected himself cheerfully, glad for the change of subject.

_Nothing_ had the right to be that old! God _dammit_. Akira was starting to feel annoyingly inferior to the monster. He hated feeling inferior to anything!

_Better not ask about Haru's age, _Akira thought. That would just make it worse. "And how old are _you_?" His inquistive information-gathering side asked before he could stop it.

Haru blushed, like he was being asked for his measurements. "1709 ... I'm sorry."

_You should be!_

After some thought, and math, Akira decided to add "pedophile" to the list. It was still pretty scant. So far, he had:

'Egg?

Stupid.

I need a gun.

Insane.

3568 yrs?

Pedophile. '

He couldn't see any plan coming out of it.

"Quack."

_You are so right, Tapioca, maybe I _am _too sleepy_, Akira thought. He put down his notebook. "We'll continue discussing this in the morning," he said. "Where will you sleep? -No, you can't sleep on the bed." He added quickly.

Haru thought about it. "I need to sleep where there's water."

"The tub?"

Haru gasped and started bouncing up and down excitedly. "Can I fill it up?!"

"Yeah, sure." Akira was too tired to care. They filled up the tub and Haru laid face down in it like a murder victim. Akira tried to ignore the bone-chilling sight of him while he brushed his teeth. Then Tapioca and Pudding decided to join Haru in the tub, gliding softly on the surface, quacking excitedly. Haru tickled their toes from under the water.

Akira had to hold back a smile.

Yuki sat in the living room watching the TV. He couldn't take his mind off Haru for very long. He knew he shouldn't let it bother him, but the thought of Haru spending the night with Akira made him uncomfortable. And because he was only a _little_ uncomfortable and the world wasn't happy until Yuki was completely uncomfortable, Urara chose that moment to slither onto his lap.

"Sad," Urara told him.

"U-urara! Get off my lap!" Yuki broke out in a sweat.

"Haru hates me. I just want him to be happy, and he hates me," Urara whined.

Yuki paused, feeling bad for the alien. He didn't seem to have as easy a time on Earth as Haru did. "Look, I'm sure Haru doesn't hate you. Haru doesn't hate anyone!"

Urara was quiet for a while, nuzzling into Yuki's lap. "Every time I try to talk to him he gets upset … talking is so hard!"

Yuki smiled softly. "Yeah, I know that feeling..."

Urara doubted that, but it was hard not to like Yuki. With his red hair, he was the space-fish equivalent of a human man going to another planet and finding a woman with three breasts. He could see why Haru was so eager to come back here. With a sigh, he continued to chew on his own hair. Yuki gave him a friendly pat on the head.

Akira woke up screaming. Something wet, cold and_ awful _had just crawled into bed with him. He was scrabbling for the bed side lamp, but he could already hear the bed intruder apologizing profusely.

"Sorry, sorry…"

"_Haru?!_"

"Sorry."

"_Gah!_ The bed's all wet!"

Akira turned on the light and glared at the alien. He was lying next to him, looking sad as his clothes dripped water onto the bed sheets. Akira steeled himself for the worst. _If he starts crying again I'll suffocate him with a pillow_, he decided.

"I can't sleep," Haru told him.

"That's no excuse to wake me up!" Akira's glare narrowed like he had just witnessed a federal offense. "You didn't wake up Tapioca, did you?"

"No…" Haru snuggled into the now-soggy pillows. "We don't communicate very well, do we, Akira?"

"Why would you expect us to? We come from different worlds." Akira could barely communicate with normal people, let alone aliens.

"I _want_ to communicate with you!" There was a desperate tilt to Haru's voice. "I want to talk to you about everything!"

"Ah..." Akira didn't know what to say to that. He'd never really had anyone want to confide in him outside of an interrogation room until now. "Well..." _Good luck with that._

"He looked in my mind when I was sleeping," Haru whispered, his voice almost a hiss. Whatever it was that he was talking about, it sounded like an invasion of privacy - but Haru's tone of voice made it sound a lot worse than just that. He sounded like a victim in a police station confiding to them about some terrible sort of crime.

"He _what?!_" asked Akira, sounding more enraged that he should for someone who didn't know what was going on.

Haru panicked, remembering that he didn't want to get Urara in trouble. "I'll try explaining, it's not that bad..."

"Did he hurt you?"

Haru was going to say no, but then he remembered the splitting headache - and, worse than that, the feeling of being betrayed and violated. "Yes," he admitted quietly.

"Then we're going to _kill_ him."

"You don't understand! It's my fault! It's my fault he's like this! We had a fight and he ran away to Earth and I had to get him back! People got hurt!"

Well actually, according to the report, people died, ships sank. But now probably wasn't the best time to correct the alien. "It's not your fault he's a drama queen. Besides, you saved the Earth. DUCK would be proud of you if you were an agent," Akira said, once again mistaking DUCK for his entire being.

"Pfft!" Haru nearly laughed at the ridiculous thought of ever being an agent. "But really, Akira, I don't want Urara to get hurt ... I care about him."

Akira sat up. This whole 'let's not shoot JFX in the head' thing was getting infuriating, and he was starting to think Haru's feelings towards the creature were more complicated than he had previously thought. "Do you care about him, or do you _care_ about him?" he asked with the tone of an interrogator, but the wording of a twelve-year-old. Eventually he'd have to admit to himself that he had the romantic experience of a brick.

"What?" There was only so much human Haru could understand.

There was only so much human Akira knew how to explain. "Like … romantically..."

"Roman ... tick?"

"What do they do on your planet?"

"Swim?"

"_Ughhh!_" Akira leaned back down. Haru was right. They couldn't communicate at all! "How do you really feel about JFX?"

Haru sighed sadly. "I don't know. We used to be Together Forever, but…"

"What happened?" Akira asked. He really wanted to know as much as he could about the situation, so that he could finish his plan. It also helped that he was never not interested in aliens.

"Well, Forever is a really long time to be together. So I said, 'No, thank you!' and he got upset and left!"

"'No, thank you?'" In reply to what? _I love you?_

"_I didn't know what to saaay!_ I had to get him back! I thought we'd be Together Forever again…!"

"Why would you _want_ to be?"

"Well, I don't _really_, but it's my fault, and now… he's so strong! He scares me…"

While Akira was worrying about Haru's mental state, he felt a cold, wet hand (_Haru's hand_) slip into his. Haru really was scared. Akira squeezed Haru's hand as reassuringly as he could manage. Lucky for Haru, his emotions were stupid and could be cleared up with a little common sense, and Akira had so much common sense he didn't know what to do with all of it. "Don't ever get back together with him. He's skinny and weird looking."

"But, it's…"

"Besides, you're way too good for him."

"Too _good?_" Compliments from Akira were so rare they sounded surreal. It was a really nice one too, but made no sense; Urara was more powerful, and twice as colorful as Haru was. Haru started to blush. He couldn't articulate how wrong Akira's compliment was, so instead he repeated himself in disbelief. "Too good?"

"_Yes_. Don't you have any self-esteem?"

"I don't know what that is…"

"It's like loving yourself. You're the only person who'll ever understand you, so you might as well love yourself," Akira told him from experience.

"I love EVERYONE!" Haru told him enthusiastically.

"You can't depend on people, Haru." Also golden, experience-based, advice.

Haru was quiet for a while. "But I can depend on you." Haru smiled softly, squeezing Akira's hand. "Right?"

Well, Akira couldn't deny that he was the most dependable person in the world. "Right."

Haru's smile widened. Wow. Wow! Akira was a much nicer friend than he had expected. His compliments and the heat of his hand were making Haru giddy. There was comfortable feeling all around him, but a fire had lit up in his soul. He cuddled into Akira's side, and Akira didn't protest, like he wanted to, because he was dependable. He was a dependable guy.

"Thank you, Akira," Haru gurgled at him from somewhere near his armpit. "You really think I'm too good?" Haru asked, still blushing.

Akira rolled his eyes. "_Yes._"

Haru giggled almost as if someone was flirting with him, but nobody was. He wriggled excitedly and then pushed himself up on his elbows, grinning like an idiot. Clearly the alien had no intention of going back to sleep. "Akira, let's do something crazy!" he yelled.

"_Keep your voice down! _We're in a hotel! What's wrong with you?!"

Haru clamped his hands over his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. "Let's put our heads together, Akira!" said Haru, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Like ... put our heads together and think of a plan?"

"Hahahah!" Haru laughed anyway, red in the face, still apparently flirting with someone who wasn't there.

Still laughing at Akira's innocence or _whatever_ it was, Haru leaned down and put an arm around Akira's neck. "We put our heads together like this." He was so close, their foreheads were touching. He was so close, Akira could feel his breath on his face. It smelled like fish.

_Gross._

"If we put out heads together, we can share a happy thought," Haru whispered. "Do you want to try?"

"Won't you end up controlling me?" Akira tried to shift away from Haru on the bed.

"No. I know what I'm doing."

Maybe it was Haru's breath slowly suffocating him, or the shock of how quickly the conversation changed, but Akira completely forgot to ask himself the most important question. When did Haru ever know what he was doing? It didn't help that Akira was just way too curious about anything to do with aliens.

"Fine!" he huffed. "Just be careful."

And then Haru maybe purred, or 'shururu'ed softly under his breath. "Think of something that makes you happy," Haru told him, and the calm in his usually spastic voice was unnerving.

The list of things that made Akira happy was a very short list, with Tapioca somewhere at the top, so he thought of her. He'd never really had any friends before he met Tapioca, choosing instead to put his nose to the grind stone and work hard at bringing the world to its rightful order - ie, the order where he was at the top and everyone thought he was awesome. He did so well he was rewarded, not with a pay raise or a new office or anything logical like that, but because a company that chased aliens for a living wasn't exactly the sanest place to work, he was given a duck.

A live, quacking, duck. And he hadn't been too happy about it at first, but then something clicked; he didn't know if it was the bond between them, or his overworked mind, but Tapioca was been the only living creature he'd ever connected with, and for that he owed her a debt of gratitude.

He was so engrossed in his own thoughts, Haru entering his mind took him completely by surprise. First his ears popped, then a warm feeling spread somewhere near Akira's navel. The whole thing was punctuated by flashes of a strange underwater world that looked like it had been colored in by some kind of toy store designer.

And then there was a lurch, and the world fell away from under him. Panicking, he pushed Haru off. The bed was back, and as solid as ever, but now the room was spinning and his ears were ringing. Haru was apologizing from what sounded like several different parts of the room at once. "Are you okay?! I'm so, _so_ sorry!"

He put a hand on Haru's shoulder to steady himself. Haru's shoulder? Ear? Was this even Haru? Whatever it was, Akira glared at it. "I thought you knew what you were doing," he growled, trying not to throw up, because above everything agents had self control.

"I thought it'd work," Haru whimpered. "I went really easy on you and everything."

Akira reached out to strangle him but passed out instead.

When Akira woke up next, he felt surprisingly well rested. He'd ended up dreaming that he was a fish, and it had been one of those dreams that were so vivid you woke up wondering what was real and what wasn't. In fact, he woke up feeling out of place; the air was too thin, the gravity was too strong and the colors around him were depressingly muted.

Tapioca was next to him, trying to tuck him in. Haru was pacing around the room nervously. Tapioca, noticing that he was awake, stopped and quacked something about how it wasn't like she _cared_ or anything.

"_Akira! _You're awake!" cried Haru, running to his side. "I thought you were dead! Tapioca said you weren't but I was still so scared!" Haru clung onto him like he still thought there was a chance this would become Akira's deathbed.

"I'm fine, Haru," he assured the alien, pushing him away with his fin - arm, _arm!_ With his normal human arm. "Mostly fine…"

"I'm really sorry!"

"Stop apologizing! I said I'm fine. Besides," Akira said, "I've thought of a plan."

Haru blinked a few times. Akira got out of bed, standing up slowly because he was still disoriented and didn't want to fall on his face in front of Haru.

"Listen," he continued. "I'll go gather some … equipment, and you're going to hang out with Yuki or something. Stay out of trouble, and don't let yourself be caught alone with that creep."

"Who? Yuki?"

"_No!_ Urara! Yuki isn't a creep!" As far as he knew, anyway. Feeling nervous about leaving Haru alone, Akira went and got Pudding. The stupid duck was still asleep in the tub as if nothing had happened. He gave the duck to Haru. "Here, take Pudding with you. He isn't good for much, but if you get into trouble, he'll come and find me."

Haru took Pudding and held him close to his chest.

"Don't do anything stupid," Akira added.

Haru nodded, trying to look sincere.

Outside, as Haru headed back to Yuki's house, he talked to Pudding. He'd seen Akira talk to Tapioca and it seemed really soothing. Tapioca was a smart duck - if you listened hard enough, she had a lot to say, but Pudding was either not as smart or just didn't have nearly as much to say. He just listened intently as Haru rambled at him.

"I'm not a bad person for lying this time, Pudding! After all, what I'm going to do is only a _little_ stupid…"


End file.
